Seems like every new tv show or podcast is about the same thing: True Crime. Now Young Jeffrey is joining them! Instead of Lizzo’s “About Damn Time” it’s Young Jeffrey’s “All About True Crime”
Ted Lasso’s a bore, So is Jeopardy,
The Shows I Adore, are more Murder-y (Cold Case!)
Tonight, I’m gonna learn about a KILLING…
Thats how i do my Netflix & Chillin’
We’ll do it Til, we find out who’s the Villian?
It’s the Husband… Calling it Right now!
Ohhh, Like watchin’ CSI but Better…
They’ll finger print that Ransom Letter
Ohhh, Just break it down for me Forensically…
Luminol that Sweater!
That Gordon Ramsay, Can Chop the Chives…
But he’s got nothing, on those “WIVES WITH KNIVES”
Sharp Blades, Chalk Lines
All about True Crimes!
Know how I’d do it, and Still Get Away,
Learned all the Tricks to, Cover your Remains
Don’t Stray (DON’T PLAY) You Might
End up on Dateline!
I’m addicted, to the stories, And Betrayals
Man, I Tell ya, It Screws me up!
Feelin’ Fuzzy, Glass of Wine Tastes kinda Funny
Think my Wifey’s, Been actin’ Sus?
Like’ “Baby Drink Up, You’re Goin’ NUTS!”
Saying I Watch True Crimes too Much?!
Life Insurance, Raise it Up Now,
*GASP*… Just like on “Fatal Vows”!
Ohhh, Investigators get so Flustered,
They Need a “Clue”, like Colonel Mustard
Ohhh, Why Sketch Artists All Draw So Terribly?
Like a Rorschach Splatter!
So Therapeutic, Can’t Tell you Why?
To know that Blood Stain Patterns Never Lie
Cold Case (Phone Trace) Made Right
Once they Solve that Crime!
Lets get to Using, Some D-N-A
Bought my Own ROLL of Crime Scene Yellow Tape,
Cut Brakes (Gas Leaks), House Fires
All the SMALL TOWN Vibes…. SWITCH!
You know what CRIME it is!
Pushed off a Ship, that’s Right, Guys’ Mistress Killed his Wife!
Don’t Jog Alone at Night, on SOLO Nature hikes! (woo!)
Guys trip went Bad, Alright, Skull found at the Campsite,
X-Ray (X-Ray) His Teeth…
And they Match the Bite!
As soon as Cops Arrive, The Suspect Fakes a Cry,
But Weird His Eyes are Dry, Like Vegas in July!
The Pistol Found Inside, He Swears: “That Isn’t Mine”
Guilty (No Shame), Jail Time!
Til his Ass gets Fried!
ALL ABOUT TRUE CRIME!