Not only is Barbie the most iconic toy of all time, but now she’s the subject of Young Jeffrey’s Song of the Week! Instead of Smash Mouth’s “All Star” it’s Young Jeffrey’s “Doll Star!
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Some Barbie once showed me, her limbs don’t Bend or Fold-y
She never hits herself in the Head…
You won’t see her looking glum, she just smiles at everyone
Cuz her doctor must get her the good meds
Well, her hair Looks stunning, laying pool-side sunning
Barbie is the Queen of Summertime Funning!
Rockin’ high heels ’til her feet go numb
Her handshake’s weak, cuz she can’t move thumbs
Purses & Shoes! New Hats & Skis!
Maxed her VISA out on accessories
Her Waist Size’s Triple Zero,
Same diet as Gwyneth Paltrow!
Play Now! You’re a Doll star, With your Doe-Eyed Stares Blank!
Hey Now! Gotta Sports car, and your Wardrobe’s all Pink!
You’re plastic, But You Got Soul…
Unlike the Housewives, on Bravo
Always have Ken, lookin’ over your Shoulder
With his ascot on, tell his ass “Scoot Over!”
Cuz G.I. Joe’s biceps are bigger
Gettin’ action from a Real action figure
You’re asked on Dates by Lego Toy Men,
Even Buzz Lightyear is in your DMs!?
That girl aspires for so much more…
Change her whole career up anytime she gets bored…
Hey Now, You’re a Doctor, doing Surgery, on brains!
Wait Now, You’re a Boxer?! Punching Lights Out & Flyin Planes
You now flip burgers I’m told…
Hope that the Dream House is Rent-Controlled…
BARBIE: Thanks for cruising around Malibu with me in my Pink Corvette Ken!
KEN: Of course Barbie, I’m DEFINITELY not worried at all that you can’t bend your Arms to Steer!
BARBIE: Oh Ken, you’re such a good friend and nothing more. Don’t we look CUTE today?
KEN: You were right Barbie. Wearing matching bedazzled denim Cowboy Outfits WAS a Good Idea!
Hey Now, you’re at NASA, Riding Rockets through Space!
Wait Now, an Assassin?! Doing hit jobs, for pay?!
Your Resume Reads like Scroll
Girl is goin’ Far…
You Party with Friends, in your giant Pink Mansions,
And Built a Slide Down off the Roof of your place
Take your Pets, on Private Pink Jets,
So much Luggage, you could ground Southwest
And skate around in Neon Roller Blades!
WELL! Your Purse Keeps Poppin’, and ya keep Crop Toppin’
Deep into Debt, cuz ya can’t stop Shopping!
Friends Came by for an Intervention…
Closet Looks Like, a Forever 21
400 Shoes, 300 Jeans
And More Hairbrushes than a Walgreens!
You only walk on your tip toes…
But easily do the Splits Pose!
Hey Now, you’re a doll star, But you Ain’t no Snowflake
Hey Now, take your box off, Kick the Front Out, Jail-Break!
The Sliding Door is your goal…
Run out of the store where you’re Sold
And if you take off Your Clothes
Look down at your body, somethings wrong??