Free Slurpee Day is on Monday! Young Jeffrey has a song just for that delicious treat we all know and love from 7-11. Instead of Harry Styles’ “As It Was” it’s Young Jeffrey’s “Frozen Tongues!”

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Full Lyrics:
Come in Jeffrey, the Door will say Hello you!

Scanning the Racks…
Aisles of Sugary Snacks…
Just need a Soda to Help me Relax,
In a Cup ’bout the Size of a Bath…

In the Display…
Taquitos twirl like a Ballet…
And God Knows for how many Days…
Still I put em’ Into my Face…
Ohhhhh

In this Store, there’s Milk Duds…
And outside there’s a guy selling Drugs…
On this Floor, I’ve spilled Blood…
While Toiling over Scratch Lotto Stubs…
Packaged Subs…
Smokes & Buds…
Convenience is the name…

Almost got Caught…
On Valentine’s Day I forgot…
So into a Seven-Eleven I Popped,
and Got her cheap wine & flip flops.

Drinkin’ something
More potent than nicotine
One hit from Slurpee Machine,
Feel Higher than Harry Styles, Jeans,
Ohhhhh

Two Flavors, Mix Em Up,
Blue Raspberry & Coke in one Cup
Slurp it Like, Dracula…
I Drank It way Too Fast, OW! I’m Numb!
Frozen Tongue!
Pain has Come!
My Brain got Climate Changed…

Motor-oil, Wonder Bread, Corn Dog Tannin’ Bed…
Here you gonna Microwave your Own Burritos,
Late Night, Stumble In, Donuts, 3am…
Like Mick Jaggers Legs, cuz this place Never Close…
(Hey!)

Grabbed Beer Suds,
DVD “Hot Fuzz”

And Bought a Nudie Mag Just Because!
This Guy Loves
Seven Double Ones!