Live it up Class of 2022! After this it’s a whole lot of back pain… Instead of Green Day’s Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) it’s Young Jeffrey’s “Goodbye To The Prime Of Your Life!”
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Full Lyrics:
Congratulations, on your New Diploma Bro…
But once you Graduate, the Real World’s gonna Blow,
Welcome to Taxes! You Don’t pay em that’s a Crime,
Most of your dates, will be with Creepy Dudes Onlie
Whole Diet’s Microwavable, Hot Pockets every Night,
Say Goodbye to the PRIME of your life…
(“It’s PAY-DAY… Lemme just pay some bills… Annnnd I’m Broke…)
All the Music you love now, will soon be Obsolete!
Why did no one Teach you how to Fold a Fitted Sheet???
Slowly Losin’ Touch, with all the Friends, that ya once Knew,
Sure You’ll Make Plans… but you’ll RARELY Follow Thru…
You’re Physically Dependent on, a Coffee when you Rise,
You’ll talk about the WEATHER, all the Time…
(“Can you Believe this Weather we’re having lately?… Out of all the Weather i’ve Seen… I’ve never quite seen Weather LIKE THIS… THIS Weather is Slightly Different… than Yesterday’s Weather Yesterday… *sigh* I just hope NEXT WEEK’S WEATHER is Better Weather…)
A throbbing Neck Pain, when you have an Awkward Sleep…
Your Entire Insta-Feed is, Photos of Babies,
So Underpaid! And your boss Treats you like Crap,
What you wouldn’t Give, to Just go Home and Take a nap!
Now, when you see a High School Kid, they all Look like they’re 5.
When you Try to use New Slang, It Don’t Sound Right…
(That Life Insurance Commercial was Lit…. Talk about I’m Dead! No Cap….. Big Yikes… but, I LOW KEY Stan.. the Barefoot Contessa… SKRT…. OKurrr?… Her Vegetable Medley, got me ALL in my Feels… Call me Extra…. but her Toasted Pita Triangles Hit Different…..… I-Y-K-Y-K…. PEROID-t
Your Parents Filled your Bedroom with a Stationary Bike
They’ll Only use it Maybe Once or Twice…
(I thought I was just Tired… but it’s been 5 years, so I guess thats just what i am now…)
You thought Adults we’re thriving, but we’re all just Gettin’ by…
It’s Chores & Work & Laundry til we Die…